 In this teaching, I share how Buddhists can use the teachings of Buddhist Right Speech and Mindfulness to offer unsolicited advice to others, skilfully and kindly, and in ways that promote harmony, mutual respect, and appreciation from and for the people whom we have around us. These days there is a wealth of information available to us on the internet and an abundance of people who do and don't take advantage of it. As a result, there are many people who feel compelled to offer unsolicited advice to others. Although unsolicited advice can be beneficial at times, if not done skilfully it can result in hurt feelings or disharmony between peers and friends; this is unfortunate and avoidable. Offering advice and constructive feedback like a Buddhist means doing so from a heart of compassion and loving-kindness rather than from a mind of ego or aversion, and doing so will pave the way for your feedback to be heard and appreciated. It may be worth mentioning that, from the recipient's perspective, advice is generally best received from two different groups of people:
When we receive unsolicited advice from those who fall beyond the confines of these two groups, we tend to do so with shields and skeptical minds engaged. This is something worth keeping in mind when considering to offer advice to others. OFFERING ADVICE AS A FORM OF BUDDHIST PRACTICE As Buddhists, it is important to seek every opportunity to practice the Path and apply the teaching if we wish to cultivate the views and skills that make measurable progress along the path possible. Giving feedback is just such an instance.
The act of offering advice can become a Buddhist practice if the act is approached skilfully and with the dharma in-mind. If giving-feedback is to be a proper reflection of our desire to apply our Buddhist practice to our everyday lives then we have to ensure that our motivations and intentions are coming from wholesome, compassionate, and skilful wellsprings. Not only does this ensure that the act of offering feedback helps us to cultivate the views and practices that enable progress along the Buddhist path, but it also paves the foundation for feedback to be viewed and received with an open heart and a clear mind by those to whom we offer it. So how do we begin?
9 Comments
 Do you find yourself getting drowsy or falling asleep when you are trying to meditate? Unfortunately this affects many people. In this brief teaching, we will review the value of meditating with purpose and how to address the common complaint of "I keep falling asleep when I meditate, what can I do to stay awake?" And what to do if your attempts to stay alert fail. INTRODUCTION: MEDITATION VS THE FIVE HINDRANCES It is beneficial to always remember that meditation is a mind-training exercise. It's very much like taking your mind to the gym for a workout; and while it's not technically difficult, is a lot of effort, and you should be far too busy meditating to possibly get drowsy (or bored) while doing it. Yet, most people aren't familiar with that perspective of the practice; and instead, they are instructed to "just be" or to just "let it go." Unfortunately for many, that is a recipe for boredom, and eventually, for drowsiness. So when you find yourself feeling bored or sleepy, these are signs that you aren't actually "meditating," but rather that you're just sitting still...trying to "just be" and that can become pretty boring and rote, which leads many practitioners toward various degrees of drowsiness while on the cushion. Meditation is so much more than just trying to be peaceful. Meditation is intended to be used to prepare the mind, to develop strong mental strength, and to create the foundation for Buddhist enlightenment to take place. If you are dedicated enough in your practice and exert skilful effort to bear this in mind, it becomes much easier to stay focused and maintain the energy levels required to stick with the object of your meditation, retarding drowsiness and boredom, and make actual progress toward the experience and bliss of proper meditative attainments. Most people are entirely unaware that by focusing on the breath, that they are practicing a technique (ānāpānasati) that is used to stabilise their attention so that they can start the process of learning and re-enforcing how to develop Concentration (samādhi), as opposed to cultivating relaxation, and that by applying sustained concentration, they will naturally enter into the first of many deep states of consciousness called jhāna (absorption). But they will not be able to enter into any deep and blissful states of concentration until they can develop their ability to hold the object of their meditation (e.g., the breath) with stability, clarity, and ease; and without possessing unshakeable focus, and the understanding that comes only through knowledge, trying to do this by just sitting with eyes-closed can get pretty boring pretty quickly, and boredom can lead to sloth, torpor, and falling asleep. However, all is not lost! Being vigilantly aware of the state of your mind and body will alert you to your pending hindrances. Practicing and getting good at applying the antidotes that follow will go a long way toward laying the foundation for your spiritual success. ANTIDOTES TO THE THIRD HINDRANCE The purpose of these techniques is to remain strong and continue to meditate! If we stop meditating every time we experience the challenges presented to us by the Five Hindrances, say to splash water on our face or to take a break, then we will never grow beyond our limitations nor develop our meditative abilities. The Five Hindrances aren't to be avoided, they are to be overcome!
So, when sloth or dullness come into play, it is critical to have a battle plan on how you will address them before you take your seat on the cushion. Here are five proven techniques that I suggest adding to your practice:  In this article, we will cover what the Eight Worldly Concerns are and how they relate to your pursuit of happiness and your freedom from worry, stress, and anxiety. We as sentient beings, every single one of us, have two basic desires in common that drive and motivate absolutely everything that we think, say, and do: the wish to be happy and the wish to be free from suffering.
Within Buddhism, it's taught that the greed that we feel for the things that we want, the aversion that we feel to the things that we don't want, and the confusion that we have about where stable forms of happiness are actually found are the fundamental obstacles to our attainment of true happiness, peace, and well-being. These three factors are so common to the human experience that they are referred to as The Three Poisons within Buddhism and everyone struggles with these three obstacles, and so as a result, humanity as a whole struggles to move forward. Our pursuit of happiness and our aversion to being unhappy leads us to pursue or avoid what are referred to as The Eight Worldly Concerns; eight concerns which are ever-present in our lives that seem to always be at the foundation of our motivation to do anything. These eight concerns come in four rhyming and easy to remember, yet opposing, pairs:  What is Karma really? Is our life predetermined or do we have agency? And what does it have to do with who we are or what we experience? In this short article, we will cover what Karma is and what it isn't; how it relates to destiny and free-will; and, its relationship to your happiness and your peace-of-mind. Before I start, let me get this out of the way right upfront: Karma is not a universal morality system; it's not a bad behaviour boomerang. In Buddhism, there is no deity watching over anyone, rewarding do-gooders and smiting wrong-doers.
So, what is Karma then?  In this teaching you will find a detailed explanation, complete instructions, and a rich example recitation script of the equalising Mettā Meditation on Loving-Kindness and Compassion. Plus, a bonus sutta that can be used to close your meditation session. WHY MEDITATE ON LOVING-KINDNESS? Before we begin, it's important to understand the difference between compassion and loving-kindness. Compassion is the desire for others to be free of pain and suffering, and loving-kindness is the desire for others to be happy. Without cultivating these fundamental limitless qualities within ourselves, progress toward awakening, streamentry, or enlightenment will forever be out of reach.
Mettā meditation, or more colloquially, meditating on loving-kindness, is a core Buddhist practice that is practiced within all three of the main Buddhist traditions. It is so effective, that is has even made its way into the secular mainstream mindfulness movement. At its core, Mettā meditation is a necessary practice for cultivating the proper motivation and views that make progress along the Buddhist path toward enlightenment possible. Without this practice, and practices like this, it becomes too difficult to generate pure compassion and unbiased loving-kindness for ourselves and for others, especially given the angst-filled world in which we find ourselves living today. The purpose of meditating on loving-kindness (mettā) is two-fold:  In this reply to a student question, I cover the basics of making real progress with your dharma and meditation practice; how to cultivate it; and, why doing so is so important to attaining Awakening and Enlightenment. Because this is an email to a student, it assumes a certain understanding of Buddhism on the part of the reader. Thank you for your question; it can be easy to learn about Buddhism without actually knowing anything about how to actually turn all this Buddhism stuff into actual practice. And without practice, it follows that we can't actually get good at it, and if we can't get good at it, then peace of mind, happiness, and enlightenment will forever be out of reach. In order to get good at Buddhism, you must learn how to turn every moment into actual practice of the Buddha's teachings. It's shocking how many teachers don't even mention this critical part. "Practising in every moment" is probably the most important thing I do as a Buddhist. Everything, absolutely everything, must be regarded through the lens of the dhamma; and, every moment must be regarded and leveraged as another opportunity to practice peace, harmony, and compassion. :) Without understanding how to do this, progress along the Buddhist path is simply not possible, which explains why it is that so many people can be "Buddhists" and yet how so many don't seem to think, speak, or act anything like how Buddhists are expected to behave. It also explains why so many people, despite so much time and effort on- and off-the-cushion, can't seem to calm their minds beyond the confines of those cushions nor develop the virtuous qualities that they spend so much time reading about, and so, they still struggle to apply the teachings and truly practice (to get better) when faced with even trivial challenges in life. This is a field of practice that I call 'Practical Buddhism.' And practice means pulling Buddhism out of the pages and off of the cushion and thrusting it front-and-center into the real world, such as at work, at home, and in life. So, how does one practice in "every moment" of life? Great question, let's dig in!
Each one of us has the seed to be unshakeably happy and peaceful; and you don't have to be a Buddhist to have it. (Alt. Title: Recognising and connecting with your inner-goodness cultivates happiness)  In this article, we will cover what Buddha Nature is, how to recognise it, nurture it, cultivate it, and leverage it for happiness and Enlightenment. Buddha nature is not extensively covered in most popular Dharma books and many practitioners have only a loose understanding of the topic.
As with all of the "big" topics in Buddhism, Buddha nature is deep and profound and entire volumes are written on this topic. This article serves to introduce and re-enforce the concept for those who are newer to the idea or would like to learn a bit more about it and how it can benefit their practice. The more you practice, the more you will come to recognise the qualities of Buddha nature flowing from you and the clearer and more practical your Buddha nature will be to you. So what is "Buddha Nature"?  In this Q&A, we will learn about how Buddhists view and approach the teachings on kindness, tolerance, acceptance, and patience with others. Q1: Unalome tattoos are gaining in popularity among non-Buddhist women, and though it is a beautiful symbol with a very powerful meaning I was wondering if people within the Buddhist community find offence with non-Buddhists getting these sacred symbols tattooed on their bodies? Q2: I guess I'm wondering where the balance is between personal significance and cultural appropriation for you and if seeing these images on non-Buddhists is offensive? Hi Lily,
Thank you for your email and your interesting questions. Let's dive right in...  Great question, compassion and pity are quite commonly misunderstood. And this is equally relevant to both Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike.
While entire schools of Buddhism are anchored on the concept of compassion, and many compendia have been written on the topic, here's an easy way to spot the difference: The Altruistic Intention: What People Get Wrong About Buddhism, Enlightenment, and Bodhisattvas.11/2/2020  In this article we will (1) learn about the Buddhist Altruistic Intention: what it is, what it isn't, and how it applies to Bodhisattvas and to your practice. We will also briefly (2) review what Buddhist enlightenment is and what it means to be "enlightened." Before we start, let's knock down some misbeliefs right now.
Mahayana Bodhisattvas and Nirvana: What People Get Wrong Three Common Misbeliefs I Hear About Mahayana Bodhisattvas and/or the Mahayana Dharma:
These are remarkably common misunderstandings of the Mahayana Bodhisattava Path and the Altruistic Intention to guide others, and spending some time to understand the root texts and commentaries can help us to better understand the intent and esoteric meanings of the teachings on this concept that hold us back from true progress along the Path. But short of doing that—and before we jump into the concept of the Altruistic Intention—it's helpful to understand at a very high-level what enlightenment is to a Buddhist practitioner and what the implications are of attaining it, even partially. So let's jump right in and begin! 
In this article, we will cover what's wrong with western meditation, how to fix your practice, and why it's so important to attaining Awakening and Enlightenment.
"I’ve been meditating for years, but if I'm being honest, I don’t really enjoy doing it. I meditate because I think I’m supposed to, but I mostly find it boring and it is not something that I like to do.
Will I ever enjoy doing it, or is that not the point?" - Anonymous
If you can relate with the question above, then I have good news, I can tell you why: it's because you've been taught how to meditate incorrectly. Boredom (or even having a restless mind) is a guaranteed sign that you aren't actually meditating, it's a sure sign that you're just sitting still...and yes, that's boring. I understand that some practitioners aren't going to like reading the rest of this, because they have developed their own views and notions, but allow me to explain as this goes against the rote teaching in the West and there is a lot to gain from keeping an open mind on this subject; so let's dive right in!
(Warning: the text that follows may be considered seditious and incendiary. That is not the intent; the intent is to highlight and correct in no uncertain terms.) COMMENT: Huh, so, I was taught to meditate wrong?  In this short article, we will cover what Renunciation is and what it isn't for lay-practitioners; how to cultivate it; and, why it's so important to attaining Awakening and Enlightenment. Buddhist Renunciation isn't about asceticism or giving up pleasures and the finer things of life; believe it or not, you can renounce and still have those things. Rather, genuine Renunciation is about rejecting our unskilful attachments to the things that make us unhappy.
Don't worry, this will all make sense shortly. So, what is and what isn't Buddhist Renunciation, more specifically?  I have problems trying to understand Emptiness. I even struggle at finding a better way of putting the idea of Emptiness or No-self as it is explained in dharma books and dharma talks into my own words. I suspect the causes will be in no small part because I am not fully understanding the subject in enough depth and therefore struggle in putting it into my own words, like the bowl with the holes in it, I discover it has all seeped away and just isn’t happening yet! I also don’t want to just parrot back words, I want to understand it enough to understand it with confidence and some insight. - G.R. Hi G.R.,
Emptiness (Sanskrit: śūnyatā) is an challenging topic for the uninitiated and it presents an almost impossible learning curve to beginners who are just starting to explore the Buddhist path...  What is the point of thinking about death? Is it morbid or is it useful? And how can it be used by non-Buddhists to cope with dying, death, or loss?
Ask a Buddhist what the leading cause of death is, and the Buddhist will say: "birth." While it's true that Buddhism has a deep interest in the subject of Death, it is just a true to say that Buddhism has a deep interest in a great number of the things that seem to plague the human experience. However, the comfort with which Buddhists can talk about Death seems to make a lot of people uncomfortable and, as a result, it gets over-played in our media and culture. So why does Buddhism have such a focus on Death?  Hi Michael, it's nice to see you again too. Thank you so much for the help. Let me see if I understand it clearly: what I usually end up doing is re-wording the meaning of the text, mainly so I can work with it in my head using my native language. So should I also meditate on the words longer in order to burn the meaning into my core? Would that would be the right thing to do if I don't need to know the exact words? - Nadia V. Hi Nadia,
Thank you for your question to clarify your understanding. We want to move away from recitations and start down the path of analytical meditation to help you get around your short-term memory issues; and rote memorisation does little for our understanding and insight, memory issues or not. So how do you meditate analytically? While there is a reason entire books and courses are written on this single topic, here is a simple process that you can use to start doing it today. First of all, what is "analytical meditation" and how is it used? |
The Sagacious Buddhist Blog
beingpeacefully.com/dharma-blog Subscribe.
Categories.
|
|
Michael Turner is a pre-monastic ācariya, ariya-puggala, and a full-time Buddhist anagārika; and he is also a deeply accomplished streamentry mentor and applied-dharma teacher. He emphasises and teaches the practical application of the Buddha's teachings in our everyday lives to overcome our human problems that stand in the way of making measurable progress toward Buddhist enlightenment and he is particularly adept at explaining them in ways that can be easily understood and practiced by Western Buddhists. He has been meditating and cultivating the views and techniques that generate indestructible resilience, inner-strength, and direct experience for more than 25 years and has helped countless numbers of students and peers enhance their practice to make clear progress along the path toward Nibbāna.
|
do good. be kind. help others. be peaceful.™
|
|
RSS Feed
