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How to do Mettā Meditation Correctly - Detailed Instructions (Loving-Kindness)

8/20/2021

13 Comments

 
Mettā meditation, also referred to as meditating on loving-kindness, is easy to do incorrectly or incompletely.
Metta

If you aren't using your heart, you are doing Mettā meditation wrong.


​In this teaching you will find a detailed explanation, complete instructions, and a rich example recitation script of the equalising Mettā Meditation on Loving-Kindness and Compassion.  Plus, a bonus sutta that can be used to close your meditation session.

WHY MEDITATE ON LOVING-KINDNESS?

Before we begin, it's important to understand the difference between compassion and loving-kindness.  Compassion is the desire for others to be free of pain and suffering, and loving-kindness is the desire for others to be happy.  Without cultivating these fundamental limitless qualities within ourselves, progress toward awakening, streamentry, or enlightenment will forever be out of reach.

Mettā meditation, or more colloquially, meditating on loving-kindness, is a core Buddhist practice that is practiced within all three of the main Buddhist traditions.  It is so effective, that is has even made its way into the secular mainstream mindfulness movement. At its core, Mettā meditation is a necessary practice for cultivating the proper motivation and views that make progress along the Buddhist path toward enlightenment possible.  Without this practice, and practices like this, it becomes too difficult to generate pure compassion and unbiased loving-kindness for ourselves and for others, especially given the angst-filled world in which we find ourselves living today.

The purpose of meditating on loving-kindness (mettā) is two-fold:
First, it serves to start the processes of softening our heart and chipping away at that hard outer-shell that has slowly developed around it from the cumulative effects of all of our past experiences of pain, betrayal, hurt, and loss.

Second, it serves to cultivate a form of compassion that goes beyond just ourselves, one that can be applied without resistance toward all people.  This is important, because compassion is best-felt universally, for everyone without exception, it flows more freely that way; and when we can cultivate that kind of openness in our hearts, not only does compassion begin to flow more freely, but so too does our sense of peace and well-being.

Softening our hardened hearts and cultivating free-flowing compassion are the foundations of developing a peaceful mind and for cultivating the foundations for more stable states of happiness, and this is the power of meditating diligently and frequently on loving-kindness.  It is why Mettā meditation has been a core Buddhist practice for over 2500 years and why this practice has "gone mainstream."


MEDITATION INSTRUCTIONS

(Time to complete: about 30 minutes.)
see related 10-minute audio guide on how to do mettā effectively


It may be worth mentioning that this is my own personal mettā recitation that I put together from various sources and developed for my own practice.

During your time with the recitation below, fill in the blanks (i.e., _____) with the following subjects, and in this order:


  • "I"
  • a named loved one (such as a friend or family member)
  • someone I feel neutral about
  • a named foe or someone I dislike
  • "all sentient beings in front of me"
  • "all sentient beings to my right"
  • "all sentient beings behind me"
  • "all sentient beings to my left"
  • "all sentient beings above me"
  • "all sentient beings below me"
  • "all sentient beings everywhere"

This is unabridged, so you should feel welcome to use as many, or as few, of the stanzas below to suit your personal practice and the specific needs of your meditation at any given time.

When properly recited with thought, feeling, and consideration, the complete recitation of this Mettā meditation should take around 40 minutes to complete, don't worry if it takes longer; the more time you spend cultivating these motivations, the more powerful and transformative they become to your practice and to your experience of the world around you.  Do not rush through this, if you do, you will only be wasting your time on the cushion.  If you find yourself beginning to recite it robotically or if it becomes rote, slow it down and re-double your concentration to deeply take into account the feelings of genuine and deep compassion and loving-kindness that you are striving so hard to generate within yourself.
AUDIO: Mettā Meditation and Analytical Meditation - How to Do Them Correctly
RELATED: EASY AUDIO GUIDE
Mettā Meditation
​How to Do It Effectively

​- with bonus -
Explanation, Instruction, Transcript


MEDITATION TEMPLATE SCRIPT

(Note: I have included parenthetical pronoun replacements where appropriate within the template below for your ease and convenience.)

May _____ be happy, healthy, and safe.
May _____ be peaceful and well.
May _____ be free of mental and physical suffering.

May _____ abstain from killing; abstain from stealing; 
abstain from sensual misconduct; abstain from speaking falsely or harshly; abstain from misusing intoxicants.

May _____ be free from fear, tension, anxiety, and worry.

May _____ be filled with contentment.
May _____ be at ease.

May (my/his/her/their) heart(s) become soft.
May (
my/his/her/their) words be supportive and beneficial to others.
May (
my/his/her/their) mind(s) be filled with thoughts of loving-kindness, selfless compassion, altruistic joy, and unbiased equanimity.

​May _____ be generous.
May _____ be gentle.
May _____ be grateful.


May _____ have the patience, courage, understanding, and determination to meet and overcome the inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.
May _____ always rise above them with integrity, compassion, forgiveness, and wisdom.


May no harm come to (me/him/her/them).
May no difficulties come to (
me/him/her/them).
May no problems come to (
me/him/her/them).

May everything that _____ see(s), smell(s), hear(s), taste(s), touch(es), and think(s) help (me/him/her/them) to cultivate peace, patience, positivity, generosity, and gentleness for (myself/himself/herself/themselves) and for all others.

May (
my/his/her/their) behaviour be friendly and (my/his/her/their) loving-kindness be a source of peace and safety for (myself/himself/herself/themselves) and for those around (me/him/her/them).

Wherever _____ go in the world, may _____ greet people with happiness, peace, and compassion in (
my/his/her/their) mind.

May _____ be protected in all directions from greed, anger, jealousy, and fear.

May _____ come to understand the true nature of happiness and suffering.
May _____ come to meet with spiritual success as soon as possible.
May _____ come to experience complete spiritual enlightenment.
(see the related 10-minute audio guide on how to do mettā effectively)


ENDING YOUR SESSION

What follows is an excerpt from the Karaṇīyamettā Sutta (Sn 1.8), one of the Buddha's teaching on loving-kindness. When you are done with the meditation on loving-kindness above, you may choose to recite the following to close your Mettā meditation session and continue on with the rest of your day, skilfully, mindfully, and compassionately.
This is what should be done
        By one who is skilled in goodness,
        And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
        Straightforward and gentle in speech,
        Humble and not conceited,
        Contented and easily satisfied,
        Unburdened with distractions and frugal in their ways.
    May they be peaceful and calm and wise and skilful,
        Not proud nor demanding in conduct.
    Let them not do the slightest thing
        That the wise would admonish.
    Let none deceive another,
        Or despise anyone anywhere.
    Let none through anger or ill-will
        Wish harm upon another.
    Radiating kindness over the entire world:
        Spreading upwards to the skies,
        And downwards to the depths;
        Outwards and unbounded,
        Freed from hostility and hate.
    Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
        Free from drowsiness,
        One should sustain this recollection.
    Wishing in gladness and in safety,
        May all beings be at ease.
    Whatever beings there may be,
        Weak or strong, without exception,
        Tall or large,
        Middling or short,
        Subtle or blatant,
        Seen or unseen,
        Near or far,
        Born or soon-to-be-born,
        May all beings be at ease!

With mettā,

Michael Turner
Buddhist Therapist and Coach
Applied-Dharma & Sīla Mentor
Analytical Meditation (yonisomanasikāra) Instructor

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My name is Michael Turner. I was a Buddhist Anagārika for eight years and am now a Stream-entry Mentor, Applied-Dharma Coach, and Buddhist Therapist. I am dedicated to helping people cultivate deeply meaningful positive mental habits that foster resilience, presence, and progress toward stable happiness.

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13 Comments
Susan Ross
8/21/2021 00:42:51

This is the most complete metta recitation I've ever seen. I love it. Thank you for sharing this on your blog. I plan to start using this today.

May you be well,
S.

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:24:39

Hi Susan,

Thank you for your delightful comment. I am glad you enjoyed it and see enough value in it to add it to your daily practice.

Reply
Scott Jansen
8/23/2021 02:29:20

Very good instructions, clearly explained, and inline with the practice. I see you have added some additional things that reinforce compassion and the basic precepts. Very "sagacious" of you. ;)

I am going to print this out and place it above my meditation space.

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:26:48

Hi Scott,

Thank you for your kind words – I've added quite a bit in here indeed. I generally suggest that people pick and choose what makes sense to you, and more importantly to personalise it for the objects (i.e., the specific) people that they are wishing to generate and cultivate compassion and lovingkindess for.

May this practice serve you well.

Reply
Jessa Falkenburg
8/23/2021 11:29:46

Nice to see you are posting again Michael! Good post as usual thank you. I am sorry it didn't work out for you I am sending you love and I hope you can become a monk soon. I hope I will see you at the next SAFE if you can make it.
Take care,
Jessie

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:28:38

Hi Jessa!

It's nice to read from you; I hope you are doing well in these interesting times and continuing to practice all the things that we've discussed in the past :)

No worries about me, I view all aspects of dukkha as practice and I am grateful for the added time to work with other to share the dhamma and more skilful ways of applying the teachings in practice and very-real ways to help us address 'real world' stressors.

Ping me anytime!

Reply
Sljmaitri
8/24/2021 19:24:33

Yes... bodhicitta is precious...May it arise where it has not yet arisen...where it has arisen, may it not decrease, but increase further and further... Mangalam.

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:29:59

Thank you for such a lovely prayer, Sljmaitri. May you enjoy peace, happiness, and wellbeing – and their causes.

Reply
Meditation_Nerd
8/25/2021 14:55:40

I'm always a little weary of teachers openly claiming ariya phala, but these metta instructions are pretty on point.

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:32:50

Hi Meditation_Nerd

I completely agree with your sentiments and it's unfortunate that there are so many who either mistakenly (or maliciously) misrepresent that actual stage and progress along the Path.

I am also grateful that you found my instruction to be worthy of your positive assessment I and I hope they will be of benefit to your practice.

Please feel free to reach out to me directly if you'd like to discuss the topics of Metta or false-Ariya in greater detail; I'd welcome the discourse.

Reply
Rebecca Murphy
10/20/2021 19:08:44

This is good, but long, especially to do it for more than a few people, and especially for people new to meditation who may only be able to sit for 10 minutes or so. And some of the statements would be better broken down separately, imo, such as the lists of feelings. Good resource, though. I will look at some of your other stuff.

Reply
Michael Turner link
1/19/2022 18:35:27

Thank you for your feedback Rebecca. I agree with your point of view and I encourage those who choose to work with these instructions to use it as a guide and to make it their own, be it through redaction, reordering, or replacing the words/aspirations with those that are more appropriate to the conditions, afflictions, and people for whom the meditations are intended.

I hope you've found a way to make these your own and found ways to make it more valuable for those who don't have a lot of time (or patience) to work with such a detailed Metta prayer.

Reply
TerraRoots link
4/10/2024 13:15:34

This is a wonderful introduction to the importance of compassion and loving-kindness! It clearly distinguishes between the two desires to alleviate suffering and cultivate happiness in others. Emphasizing their role as foundational qualities for spiritual progress is insightful. This effectively sets the stage for a deeper exploration of these essential concepts.

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