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Five Buddhist Techniques Anyone Can Use To Reduce Anger (Right Now)

4/5/2023

7 Comments

 
When anger and other strong emotions arise, use these five approaches to skilfully overcome your suffering.
5 Buddhist Steps To Overcome Anger (Right Now)

You don't have to be a Buddhist to use these techniques to overcome your anger and move forward gracefully, skilfully, and peacefully.


​​In this short "dharma bite," I provide five concise techniques that come from Buddhism that anyone (Buddhist or not) can use in-the-moment or after-the-fact to help reduce the heat of discontentment and cool the flames of anger.  This article includes a short guided meditation.

​Anger is an emotion that everyone experiences from time to time.  However, when it becomes uncontrollable, it can cause damage to relationships, work performance, and personal well-being. Buddhism offers many effective ways to reduce anger and improve overall emotional regulation. 

​Here are five basic steps, from a Buddhist perspective, that anyone can take to get started, whether they are Buddhists or not:


​1 — Practice Mindfulness


​Mindfulness is a foundational practice in Buddhism, and it is a powerful tool for reducing anger.  It involves paying attention to the present moment without judging it.  By practicing mindfulness regularly, you will develop the powerful ability observe the situations and interactions that spark your anger without reacting to them.  This will help you develop a more considered and even-keeled response, rather than simply reacting impulsively.

​One way that you can start to practice mindfulness right now is by paying attention to your breath.  One of the most effective ways to cultivate that skill is through training in meditation.  You can even try it right now: stop what you are doing.

​No, really.  Let's do a quick meditation, right here, right now:

 — Short Guided Meditation Instructions — ​
(please take your time with these instructions, these aren't meant to be rushed through, but rather to be read and performed slowly and mindfully, from one instruction to the next)
Assume a comfortable seated position, back straight, chin slightly tucked in, soften your gaze, and let's begin.

Take a a few slow, deep breaths.

Begin to feel the slow, quiet, and calming physical sensation of your breath.

Can you feel your body breathing?
Pay attention to how it feels to breathe.
How does it feel?  Stay with this for a moment.

Let's use our connection to this feeling to arrive in this present moment.  To really arrive and to really be present with this physical feeling.

Take another slow and deep breath.
Feel how it feels to slowly and deeply breathe in...
...and to slowly and deeply breathe out.

Now, observe your thoughts and emotions as you read this while you continue to feel your body breathing.
Observe them just as they arise without reacting to them, without judgement and without pushing them away.

Just enjoy taking this moment to breathe; to really breathe. 

Take another slow and deep breath.

Slowly and deeply breathe in...
...and slowly and deeply breathe out.

​Enjoy this moment.  This moment to relax.

Don't try to force it, that will be unpleasant.  Simply be with the physical sensations of your breath, and feel the calming sensations arise.  Without effort.  Just as you would  as if you were watching a peaceful sunset.

​How do you feel?

​Please take a few moments to enjoy this temporary moment of connectivity with your body before moving on...

Wasn't that nice?  OK, now back to our post.

Another way to practice mindfulness is by paying attention to how we communicate with others.  A guide to doing that more skilfully can be found in this article on 
using Right Speech so your words aren't rejected or received poorly by the people you are talking to.

2 — Cultivate Compassion


​Compassion is another important aspect of Buddhism, and it can help to reduce anger, or even eliminate it altogether. 

​Genuine compassion involves recognising the suffering of others and offering kindness and support.  We can start to do this by understanding that deep down inside everyone, including you, wants only two things:
​
  • to be happy, and,
  • to be free of unhappiness.

These drive everything.  By understanding this, you can start cultivating compassion toward others as you develop a greater sense of empathy, thereby reducing your feelings of anger toward them.  Additionally, by extending compassion toward yourself, you can reduce the strength of your negative inner-narratives and self-criticism, improving your overall well-being.

Learn more about compassion with this article on the difference between Compassion and Pity.

You can also develop and cultivate compassion by learning to practice mettā meditation, the meditation on loving-kindness and compassion.  You can learn more about how to do that with this article on how to do loving-kindness meditation correctly and with this audio supplement to that article.
​

3 — Practice Forgiveness


​Forgiveness is a key component of Buddhist teachings, and it can be a powerful tool for reducing anger.  Forgiveness involves letting go of negative feelings towards others and yourself, and offering understanding and compassion instead.

​Forgiveness is not about someone else’s harmful behaviour; it’s about your relationship with your own past.  When we begin to work on forgiveness, it begins firstly as a self-care practice for ourselves.  Forgiveness and patience are critical to being able to cultivate your ability to develop inner peace-of-mind and happiness.  You can learn more about how to do that with this article on how to cultivate the innate seeds of your happiness.

By practicing forgiveness, you can release anger and resentment and create space for more positive emotions.  So forgive others, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
​

4 — Let Go of Attachment


​Attachment is a common cause of anger and frustration in Buddhist teachings.  When we become attached to specific outcomes, expectations — or even to material objects such as our possessions — we can become angry or upset when things don't go our way.  By practicing non-attachment, we can reduce our emotional attachment to outcomes and focus on the present moment instead.  This can help to reduce feelings of anger and frustration, because the amount of suffering that we experience when we don't get what we want is a direct function of how attached we are to an expected outcome.

It's so important to get a clear understanding of what motivates us to behave in the ways that we do if we are ever to experience sustainable resilience and lasting peace of mind; you can learn more about the motivations that drive everything we do that causes us to experience pain, loss, shame, and sadness; understanding and observing these motivations within us is a critical key to cultivating unshakeable happiness.

When we understand how our attachment drives our desires, we can start the process of letting go.  But that doesn't mean you have to let go of having good things.  Learn more about how you can still have good things without the pain that comes from not getting them, or conversely, from losing them in this article about letting go of your attachments.
​

5 — Seek Skilful Support


Finally, in Buddhism our friends are considered an important pillar of skilful practice. Good friends provide support, guidance, and inspiration during difficult times for spiritual growth and development, helping us cultivate our positive qualities and overcome obstacles on the path towards liberation and enlightenment.

​
Seeking support from kind and wise people can be an effective way to reduce anger.  This can involve talking to a trusted and emotionally mature friend or family member, joining a compassionate Buddhist community, or establishing a proper student-teacher relationship with an awakened teacher.  Talking to someone who understands what you're going through can help you feel less alone and more empowered to make positive changes in your life.​

And there you have it.  While this is far from an exhaustive list of techniques that you can engage in to uproot your anger, it's a good start.  Buddhism is all about cultivating inner-strength, happiness, and resilience, and reducing anger.  By practicing mindfulness, cultivating compassion, practicing forgiveness, letting go of attachment, and seeking skilled support, you can develop effective strategies to manage anger and improve your quality of life.

​Remember that genuine change takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.


​--

If you're interested in learning more about Buddhist teachings or happiness practices and how they can help you reduce anger and improve your well-being, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. As a Buddhist practitioner, teacher, and personal coach, I can help you explore these practices in more depth and develop a personalised plan to help you achieve your goals.
​

Whether you're seeking to overcome a specific challenge or simply enhance your personal growth to genuine happiness and success, I'm here to support you every step of the way. Let's work together to unlock your full potential and discover the authentic joy and deeply rewarding fulfillment that life really has to offer.

With mettā,

Anagārika Michael Turner
Awakened Buddhist Teacher
Advanced Applied-Dharma & Sīla Trainer
Analytical Meditation (Yonisomanasikāra) Instructor
Personal Success Coach and Business Leadership Advising

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My name is Michael Turner. As an applied-Buddhism Trainer and Expert Personal Coach, I am dedicated to helping individuals cultivate positive mental habits that foster resilience, happiness, and joy. My offerings include transformative advanced Buddhist teaching and mentoring, analytical meditation training, personal success coaching, and leadership advising — all tailored to your unique needs and goals.

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7 Comments
Kyle Walker
4/6/2023 18:21:45

Thank you for this post. The guided meditation was really good and I felt much calmer just by doing it! I will be coming back here to do it again. Do you teach meditation? Good tips. Thank you.

Reply
Anagārika Michael Turner
9/23/2023 20:58:22

Hi Kyle,

Thank you for your kind words. I am delighted that the self-guided meditation had such an immediate and positive effect on you; it seems that you did it correctly. See if you can take even more time with it; leaning into the practice and making it longer.

And yes, I do teach meditation to long-time practitioners and novices alike. I would be happy to help you develop a meditation practice. Please take a look at my meditation training page. You are welcome to contact me to have a discussion about how I can help.

May your day be a good one.

With mettā,
Anagārika Michael Turner

Reply
Sarah Nemes
4/7/2023 21:13:10

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed post on reducing anger. Your insights were spot-on, and the guided meditation was a really nice touch. I'll definitely be coming back to this post when I need a reminder to stay calm!

Reply
Anagārika Michael Turner
9/23/2023 20:58:49

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for taking the time to leave such a nice comment :) I am delighted that this post was able to be of benefit to you, and I hope that it continues to have value for you in the future when you find yourself wanting a bit more calm and presence in your life.

With mettā,
Anagārika Michael

Reply
Nick Kennedy
4/7/2023 21:37:55

Wow, your post on reducing anger was so helpful! I love that you included a guided meditation - it really helped me relax and focus. Thanks for sharing these tips! I just bookmarked some of your other articles for later!

Reply
Anagārika Michael Turner
9/23/2023 20:59:15

Dear Nick,

Thank you for leaving a comment. I am glad that you found the article helpful and was able to use the instructions to improve you relaxation and focus. I hope that you benefit as much from some of the other teachings that I linked in this post as you did from this one.

May you have a peaceful and pleasant day.

With mettā,
Anagārika Michael Turner

Reply



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    Anagārika Pasannacitta

    "The only thing that prevents people from awakening, stream entry, and directly experiencing the stages of enlightenment is incorrect instruction and/or insufficient practice."

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    Hello! My name is Michael Turner (my Dhamma name is Pasannacitta).

    ​I am an Early Buddhist teacher, an ariya-puggala (sakadāgāmi), and a full-time Buddhist 
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Michael Turner is a full-time Buddhist anagārika and ariya-puggala; he is also a deeply accomplished stream-entry mentor, dharma teacher, and, c-level leadership advisor and personal success coach. He emphasises and teaches practical techniques and teachings for our everyday lives to overcome the problems that stand in the way of making veritable progress toward our goals and happiness; he is particularly adept at explaining them in ways that can be easily understood and practiced in the West. He has been meditating and cultivating views and techniques that generate indestructible resilience, inner-strength, and direct experience for more than 30 years and has helped countless numbers of students and clients course-correct their practice to make veritable progress toward happiness, success, and nibbāna.


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